Next Up … Public Phone Sex?

I never was much of a phone guy, so when cell phones started to become commonplace, I wasn’t all that excited. But, out of necessity, more than anything, I caved. I was used to, after all, packing a pager for my various agents and bosses. In my mind, the only thing that differentiates a pager from a phone is choice, the choice of whether or not to answer it. And answering phones, along with phone etiquette is a big deal to me. Call me old fashioned (just don’t call me old) but there are some things I just won’t do. Here are my top three pet peeves in reverse order.

Number three on the list is in regards to having someone call me only to be placed on hold while they take another call or deal with something else. I just figure that if I call someone, intrude into their personal time and space, it must be important, important enough for me to call. Making them important. I think that if I call someone, I certainly won’t diminish their importance by brushing them aside for something else. After all I chose to call them, I planned for the next however many minutes to be dedicated to them. If they willingly allowed me to enter their world by answering the phone, I think it’s my responsibility to honour that.

Number two is the use of cell phones while conducting other business. I blows my mind when I’m sitting at my local coffee shop and someone stands at the counter ordering something while at the same time is having a conversation on their cell phone. To me, it makes another benchmark in our dehumanization and the destruction of our ability to communicate. Ultimately it aids in creating an increasingly self-absorbed society. I don’t thing I am being over reactive. After all look at all the small incremental steps that have led us to where we are now.

The number one pet peeve in all of cell phone history is, drum roll please, cell phones at the food trough. This one, I am not alone on. In fact there’s a hot new game show sweeping the nation. I call it “Dialing For Dinner”. The idea is that when friends or business associates get together to break bread, all the cell phones are placed face down in the centre of the table. It is preferable that they are off as well, but that takes out the fun factor. The very fun people will stack them, one on top of each other. Imagine no more sneaking a peek while you think no one is looking to message the Mrs. or tell someone about the doofus that’s sitting beside you. No more blabbering (or listening to someone blabber) about what the doctor told your mother about your aunt’s medical condition. Why? Because the first person that picks up their phone also picks up the tab.

Yes, we have a winner.